Wrestling With Dyscyplyn: WrestleMania 29 – The Birth Of A New Regime?

Posted: April 6, 2013 in Columns, Dyscyplynary Action, Wrestling
Tags: , , , , , , ,

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April 7th is almost upon us. It only happens once a year and in New York City at MetLife Stadium, the WWE host their Mecca in the form of WrestleMania 29. It’s the time where casual fans, former wrestling fans, the die-hards, and IWC congregate towards the squared pulpit. This is the moment where old stars are given another chance of glory, current stars adding on to their legacy, and new stars creating their own path. It is the time where long-running chapters come to an end, and new ones begin. That’s what it should be, but in the past years there hasn’t been much of a closing and more of a rehashing.

While a few matches were set in stone a year prior, two consist of rematches from the 2012’s premier Pay-Per-Views WrestleMania 28 and SummerSlam. The undercard was haphazardly put together after a stop-and-start on certain programs, leaving a few people behind while giving some new opportunities. The Intercontinental Title gets buried again and The Undertaker returns from semi-retirement to face the biggest heel in the past year. There is a lot to discuss here and without further ado, let’s rundown the card for the “Showcase of the Immortals”.

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1. Pre-Show Match for The Intercontinental Championship: Wade Barrett © vs. The Miz

Remember a time when the Intercontinental Title was worthy of a Main Event slot at WrestleMania? When Ricky Steamboat and Randy Savage tore the house down at the Pontiac Silverdome or when Ultimate Warrior captured the WWE Championship from Hulk Hogan in Toronto and becoming a double champion? Well those days are long gone and with it the prestige and legacy of what was once an important title in propelling midcard careers to the next level.

Between Wade Barrett and The Miz, these two men were placed together in a feud involving both of them being in WWE movies (Dead Man Down and The Marine 3, respectively). I’m pretty sure the films suck, but the hotshot program halted their momentum in the process. When I look at Miz now and see how far he has fallen from winning a WrestleMania main event to now not even on the official showing  Not all of it is his fault, though he his face run as been all but extraordinary.

That being said, he’s going to come away with the strap to get the crowd going and to build himself back up. However, it’s all at the expense of Barrett getting the shaft again with a second lackluster title reign.

Winner: Miz

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2. Tons Of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) & The Funkadactyls (Cameron & Naomi) vs. Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow) & The Bella Twins

As much as I love Sandow and Rhodes, there’s no way in hell I’m going to care about this match. I don’t understand why this was put on the card to begin with other than being filler, but this represents the ultimate bathroom break match. Granted, the Bellas tag against the chocolate sistas was pretty entertaining, but there’s no need to have this match on a card this important but I’m sure it’s gonna serve its purpose.

It sucks seeing how the Rhodes Scholars are booked in meaningless comedy feuds instead of being a solid heel team vying for the tag titles. For that, I really hope to see them win this match here instead of jobbing once again.

Winners: Rhodes Scholars & Bellas

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3. WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No (Kane & Daniel Bryan) © w/ Kaitlyn vs. Dolph Ziggler & Big E. Langston w/ AJ Lee

One of the matches I’m looking forward to as this will be the in-ring debut of Big E. Langston and it follows up a year later when AJ (inadvertently) cost Daniel Bryan the World Heavyweight Championship. Dolph Ziggler is the current Money In The Bank holder and has since been shuffled in midcard purgatory for much of early 2013. This was something not only to give Ziggler a match, but to build up for a potential cash-in later on the show. As far as that subject goes, I’ll speak on it during the preview of Del Rio vs. Swagger.

Kane and Bryan have been the champs for a good minute with no end of their reign in sight. I don’t think there would be much of a hurting effect for Ziggler to take the fall here in order to protect Langston as a dominate force. Rumors said that they may add Kaitlyn and AJ Lee into the match along with the Divas’ Championship, which would be a waste. Rather keep it a tag while moving the Divas match to Raw the next night. Team Hell No wins.

Winners: Team Hell No

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4. Chris Jericho vs. Johnny “Fandango” Curtis

It’s amazing how far Johnny Curtis has come. From winning season four of NXT and damn-near bombing in his first WWE run, he has been repackaged as a suave dancer with a penchant for punctuality. A lot of people, including myself, have been skeptical of what Curtis can really do in the ring. Despite watching him during his time in NXT, he hasn’t done much that would make him noteworthy. I will say that he is handling this new gimmick a whole lot better than that horrible cliché/play on words shtick he had.

It has earned him enough to get a spot on the WrestleMania card and working with Chris Jericho. Y2J has proven to take a shit sandwich and get a four star match out of it, so I’m sure he’ll have a very good encounter with Curtis for his re-debut. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Fandango pull out the victory here in order to get the ball rolling in his push.

Winner: Fandango

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

5. Ryback vs. Mark Henry

The Big Hungry vs. Sexual Chocolate: This has all the makings of being a colossal clusterfuck. However, this is also at the top of my list of matches I want to see. Henry and Ryback has been playing a game of one-upsmanship over the past few weeks, murdering jobbers left and right while rarely getting in contact with each other. It was only a matter of time before Ryback would have a bigger challenge and Henry is the right man to do it as his momentum is still strong. Plus it gives Ryback a chance to showcase his freakish power on a bigger stage along with keeping him away from the title picture. Just so much sweat, rage, adrenaline, and yelling that will take place for a good eight minutes ending with a Super Shellshock and a Ryback victory.

Winner: Ryback

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6. The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, & Roman Reigns) vs. Randy Orton, Sheamus, & Big Show

Of all the bullshit and fuckery WWE can do with young superstar pushes, I will commend them for booking The Shield so effectively. Since their debut at Survivor Series in November, they have ran roughshot against the WWE roster, dismantling the likes of Ryback, John Cena, The Rock, and their three opponents for Mania. They are currently undefeated in in-ring competition, showing an incredible amount of chemistry in their matches. Randy Orton, Sheamus, and Big Show have all put aside their differences and personal animosity towards each other to handle this threat. For that, they’re going to come up short against them.

Having The Shield lose on their WrestleMania debut would kill all momentum that they have built up. It wouldn’t serve much of a purpose for the faces to win the six-man as Orton is still looking to turn soon and this match could be the catalyst for that. Dean is gonna show out, Roman will do a crazy spear to Big Show, and Orton will be the one taking the job. Justice will be served: New York Style.

Winners: The Shield

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7. No Holds Barred Match with Triple H’s career on the line: Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman

Pretty sure this match was penciled it once Lesnar snapped Hunter’s shit up at SummerSlam, forcing him to shave his head in depression. Well, that last part may not be true but bald Triple H still looks mighty weird. The build for this match has been solid, with an awesome brawl with blood kicking things off and gives it that realism that many of these matches need. However, WWE has put themselves in a tight corner with how the match with play out. Both men are part-time workers, so a win or loss really wouldn’t affect in anyway. Logically speaking, since Lesnar got one off on Hunter, this match should go to Triple H.

I don’t see The Game retiring anytime soon as he can still have another strong run left in him if he wanted to do so. Lesnar is going to be around for another week and how his schedule plays out I don’t see him being in the WWE Title picture at all. BUT the result of this match can pay dividends towards the next match I’ll speak on. Still, I have Triple H winning in a very good brawl with sledgehammers and steel chairs and F5s and Pedigrees involved.

Winner: Triple H

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8. The Streak Is On The Line: The Undertaker vs. CM Punk w/ Paul Heyman

Probably the most anticipated match on this card, CM Punk has found a way to make a potential good angle that was lazily written into something really credible. And that can mostly attribute to a blessing of disguise. Since the passing of Paul Bearer (the man that help spawn and mold the careers of Undertaker and Kane), WWE took it upon themselves to incorporate his urn as part of the storyline. The closing angle on Raw this past Monday had Heyman disguised as Bearer while Punk destroyed Undertaker with the urn and pouring (supposedly) Bearer’s ashes onto the Deadman.

Along with carrying around the urn, Punk has had his way with it in hilarious and innovative situations. All of this done to fuel the fire between him and Taker, mentally throwing the latter off with an intent to kill. I can see this match being fucking great from the crowd heat alone, as Undertaker matches at WrestleMania gets more dramatic as with each nearfall. Punk will handle much of the workload of course: jawing at the crowd, picking his spots, and bumping heavy as Taker will do enough to make this a remarkable match. In the end, it will be The Undertaker retaining his streak and moving to 21-0 after a Tombstone Piledriver to Hell.

The thought of Punk winning this isn’t asinine, but it really wouldn’t do much for him in the long run. He already had his heel reign as WWE Champion for 400+ days and two main events in a row against The Rock in previous months. Plus, he is working with an injury and is scheduled to take time off after Mania, so a win here and then nothing after would be useless. He’s at the level he should be and there’s nothing else that will put him at a higher than he is already. Therefore, he will be jobbing for the third straight Pay-Per-View this year and still look credible in the process. Everybody wins.

Winner: The Undertaker

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9. World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio © w/ Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter

This may be the freshest WrestleMania Main Event we have seen in quite some time, but it is also the least intriguing. Jack Swagger has been repackaged into a Pro-American, Anti-Immigrant, pseudo-racist with a killer instinct and a mouthpiece in the form of Zeb Colter. Since Colter had came to the side of Swagger, he’s gotten over in a huge way as he doesn’t have to do all the talking and Zeb being a believable figure to work this angle. Obviously, this is all an attempt to get Del Rio over as the Mexican Superhero and as one of the top faces of the promotion, who still receives a lukewarm reception by some in the audience.

Raw had Zeb and Swagger beat Del Rio to a pulp with crutches, leaving lashes on his back. This will play heavily into the match with a target literally on ADR. I don’t see Swagger really winning here at all and not because of the recent drug incident. He’s simply playing a pawn for the real surprise and that’s Dolph Ziggler cashing in his MITB (finally) to win the title away from Del Rio and beginning the new WWE year with a clean slate.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio (followed by a Dolph Ziggler cash-in victory)

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10. WWE Championship: The Rock © vs. John Cena

And last but definitely not least, the rematch that was a year in the making. After their first “Once In a Lifetime” encounter, I knew for sure that these two were going to face each other again down the line. Due to the success of Taker vs. Michaels and Taker vs. HHH at back-to-back Manias, it was inevitable that they would have Cena/Rock go at it once again after giving WWE their biggest buyrate last year. You know the old saying, “If it’s not broken, then why fix it?”. This is the moment where they can change the entire complexion of WWE for years to come.

The build of this match focus of making this the “Road To Redemption” for Cena. Since losing to Rock, he has witness a downward spiral of multiple failed attempts at the WWE Title, losing to Johnny Ace, and taking a beating from Brock Lesnar that almost made him consider retirement. Coincidentally enough, his personal life had went into shambles too as he divorced from his wife (with WWE making mention of it).

Meanwhile, The Rock is in the midst of a second wind in entertainment. He has five movies set to release this year (with two being blockbusters), hosting a TV show on TNT, and let’s not forget he’s the WWE Champion in his eight reign. He truly is The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment and I feel that he is far from slowing down. That being said, the ending to this match will define how this entire show will go and the direction of the WWE throughout.

Cena wants to win badly, as if his life depended on it. He fought and won for his shot at the WWE Title winning the 2013 Royal Rumble and defeated his archrival CM Punk to maintain that right a month later in a classic match. His fiery promos over the past few weeks indicate that he will not be the fan favorite for this match and history shows why. New York hates Cena and WWE knows that he will get booed out of the building no matter what they do. It’s been eight years now and all attempts to get the crowd behind their crown jewel has faced backlash. There’s only two ways they can handle this without the WWE Universe shitting on this show completely and both involves him turning heel.

First, Cena could recreate the WrestleMania X-7 moment when Austin turned in his home state of Texas against The Rock and fully embrace the hate. It would be a long time coming and a ballsy move on WWE’s part to FINALLY make the move in turning Cena heel. That way, he can already have a number of fresh matchups off the bat AND build faces that need that extra push into credible challengers. When it comes to Booking 101, it would be the best thing to do for business as it will symbolize a new era that meshes the PG-Element with the unpredictability of Attitude.

Or they can have Rock retain and Cena loses his mind, becoming highly obsessive with wanting to leap over the one hurdle that’s stopping him. Either way, they’re fucked if they don’t pull the trigger and give Cena a new start. His time is still here, but it’s waning. It would be in the most beneficial interest of Wrestling as a whole if WWE did the unthinkable and something wholly unpredictable for once; because anything else would suck.

Winner: John Cena

We say it time and time again, but I can’t stress it anymore now that this is the time to push the new stars and change the landscape. WrestleMania is marked by defining moments and the results here can breathe new life into a mundane system or we’re stuck with same old shit. Yes, there are many that love to see the nostalgia and watch them prevail, but the torches are now to be passed on all ends. A new chapter shall arise and with that another boom period with renewed interest.

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Comments
  1. […] on it and how it can pertain to the future of the company (like every WrestleMania before it). Wrestling With Dyscyplyn: WrestleMania 29 – The Birth Of A New Regime? | Dyscyplynary Action Feel free to check it out. I will say that even though the main event matches consist of […]

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